The point of the previous seven rules is to bring your dog to a place of calm, submissive energy. I’ll show you how to do that in more depth in the next chapter. Everything begins with you, though, and if there is one thing that is most important in this process, it is your energy, your state of mind, and your approach. You are the source of your dog’s calm, submissive state, and your dog is looking to you for guidance. If your energy is anxious, nervous, overexcited, angry, frustrated, or some other negative, then your dog will reflect back that energy. If you are inconsistent in applying your rules, then your dog will begin to test you to see what she can get away with. But if you are calm and assertive in your energy and consistent in teaching and enforcing your rules, you will earn your dog’s trust, and she will follow you and look to you for guidance.
If you are having trouble mastering calm, assertive energy yourself, you may find it helpful to create an intention in your head, and then imagine it happening. For example, if your dog pulls on the walk, see yourself walking with your dog next to or just behind you and imagine what that feels like. What is your state of mind without having to constantly pull your dog back? How much more enjoyable for both of you is the walk this way?
You can also connect with your dog and help you both achieve a calm state by meditating together. To do so, sit or lie down with your dog, then place one hand on her chest and the other on her back, near her hindquarters. Pay attention to your dog’s breathing, and then begin to mimic it. Breathe together for as long as you’re comfortable. After a few days, your dog should start mimicking your breathing and the two of you should find a connection in those moments. Meditation in general is also calming for both of you.
Most of all, don’t be intimidated. This may seem like a lot of information to take in, but start simply, and build on each successful moment. The more often you succeed, the more confident you will be in continued success and the less discouraged you will be by a setback. Remember, though: You are not the only one who wants to succeed at reaching a calm, assertive state and achieving balance with your dog. Your dog wants you to succeed, too.
